


Foolish Human

by KyaniteD



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Self-Doubt, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:41:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28638696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyaniteD/pseuds/KyaniteD
Summary: T'Pol tries to hide but fails.
Relationships: Hoshi Sato/T'Pol
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Foolish Human

**Author's Note:**

> An old fic I first posted on livejournal in 2008.

Every morning, when I open my eyes, I have already donned the mask that had slipped off during the night, for a moment, when my body surrendered to your relentless assaults.

\---

When we get up, our eyes meet and I can see how you feel.

Then you smile at me, but there's only the mask you see.

"I love you."

I leave, saying nothing, and you follow me.

Foolish human.

\---

Over breakfast we talk and you laugh at words that weren't meant to be funny. Your eyes - your face - light up, although the lighting in the mess hall maintains the same level of brightness. My mask chides you with indifference. But you don't care.

You always get up first, to join other crewmembers for a moment.

"I'll see you tonight."

I just nod. We will see each other earlier, but you choose to be imprecise.

You smile, and I won't correct you.

As you turn to go, your smile changes. 

I know you're hurt. I know I'm hurting you every day. Yet you choose to stay, every day.

Humans are foolish. But they're capable of learning.

I wonder when you will have learned, when you will leave. I wonder when I will see you 'later' but not anymore 'tonight'. My mask is destroying you. Logic dictates that you leave.

I watch as you pass through the door. There's a movement I know is meant only for my eyes.

I know the image will resurface during the day. The mask is a well-forged external shield. It does not protect me from my own thoughts.

I increasingly experience difficulties suppressing thoughts of you. 

You are affecting my efficiency.

Logic dictates that I leave.

However, your absence has proven to have negative effects, as well.

It takes significantly more time to fall asleep when you are not present.

Although I know you must leave, I do not appreciate the prospect.

I cannot silence logic.

It tells me I'm afraid.  
But fear is an emotion. Emotions are human. I am Vulcan. I do not fear.

\---

When I reach my post on the bridge you are already there. As I announce my presence you don't look up. 

Fear.

Throughout the day I notice your movements, and sometimes our eyes meet.  
You only see a mask and I only see Ensign Sato.

I know I will see you tonight.

You will not ask me to remove the mask. You will take it off in the darkness of the night. I will don it in the morning.

I must leave. You must leave. You are dangerous. I am destroying you.

Your performance is excellent. It is illogical.

I love you.

Your pulse and breathing are normal. Your fingers move with precision over the consoles, your voice is strong, your articulation clear, your translations are sophisticated and sensible.

I love you.  
Have you been lying?

I observe and advise.  
I advise the crew, and I observe you.

It's illogical.  
I know you. I know your shape, your face, and your movements.

I appreciate the prospect of seeing you tonight.

Using my acquired knowledge about humans, logic translates: Joy.

"Well done, ensign. Work out the details with T'Pol."

Joy.

Is this why you choose to stay?

I see your smile, and I know no one else can see it.

I will see you tonight. And I know your smile will be different.

I assess my status as superior to the rest of the crew. More superior than logic justifies.

Pride.

Logic is being illogical. I am Vulcan. I am not proud.

We work well together. We complement each other.  
I know you. You know me.

Fear. Joy. Pride.

I must leave. I am Vulcan. I will destroy you. You must leave.

\---

As you join me for dinner in my quarters you smile. I know you only see the mask.  
We talk and you laugh. The room appears to be brighter.

I cannot rely on my senses when I'm near you. I cannot even rely on logic.

"Hoshi, you have to leave."

You look up and you slip on your own mask.

"No. We've discussed this. I will not leave just because you are afraid."

"I am Vulcan, I'm not afraid."

You laugh. I fail to detect potential humor in this situation.

"Of course you're not afraid, love."  
Your smile fades.  
"Please don't make me go. I love you, and I know you love me."

"You are mistaken. I am Vulcan, I do not-"

Your fingers effectively silence my lips.

"Please don't lie to me. No matter what you think, the only thing that really hurts me is when you lie to me."

"I am Vulcan. Vulcans do not-"

"- lie? Well, then maybe you just don't know better. But I know that there's love in here."

And in reference to foolish human romantic symbolism your fingers lightly touch my chest.

You only see my mask.

"T'Pol, you may be able to hide your face behind a mask. But you cannot hide your eyes."

You smile. You don't only see my mask.

"Communications officer is not just a decorative title, you know."

You see me. 

Fear. Joy. Pride.

You take my hand and I close my eyes. I do not- … I do not…

And then you kiss me and I hear your whisper.

"Foolish Vulcan."


End file.
